Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Three thousand miles.

The drive was long and quiet.

Pines that would not stop coming.

Allot was on my mind.

She was on my mind, and I didn't seem to care, which is an important step in the right direction.

I've become the rolling stone that Bob Dylan sang about.

I overcame everything thrown my way.

My hat makes me feel stronger than I think I can be, and I've put it on appropriately when I need to buck up and be a man.

I was driving home last night, one of the first "nights" I've had here. The sun is always up in Alaska.

Streets were quiet, and the music made the coastal city come alive for a while.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh-PMHmd00o

It was beautiful.

--

I woke up this morning and my fresh mind thought that when I swung the van doors open I'd be in Logan, instead, I put my boots on in the anchorage rain.

I feel responsible here. Like I'm becoming my dad. I put my rain jacket, watch, and boots on, I go to work and make to-do lists.

I've become someone I can count on. Someone who at the very least will be 100% honest with me, someone who will argue with me, and someone who will revive me when I've been hit.

I was sitting in the van today when the sun came out, the first patch of blue skies I'd seen since home. It was so blue.

Homesickness comes and goes.

These Alaskan sunsets go on forever though, and the seaborne clouds and the salty air are enough for me.

I will get by.

--

J,

I'll always be glad that I just came out and told you how I felt about you, even if it was too late, happening hours before I left.

Sometime in the fall, I'll see you, and you'll see me.

You know how well I would care for you, and you for me.

I know you won't let go by the Fall, and I don't really care.

I'm not going to fight for someone who won't fight for me.

I'm indifferent to the idea of "falling in love" anyways.

I have feelings for you, but I'm indifferent to them.

So when you come back with your answer, and it's not the one for me...

I won't ask you why.