They’re leaving me behind


The trees would oft’ me shade,

If not you’d cut the leaves off.
I’d lie in wait under the ground.

If wood grew for a crypt.
My throat would strike you.

If not to be shut by wishing for better.
So I’m left to walk

Or lay wake
in worry
Or wait...

Spool spinning still
With not a length or two left

Demarco's Winter

One year ago...
Once upon a time...
My life could be described by a handful of songs
My entire story was already sung

That's why I can't listen to Mac anymore
No matter how depressed I try to be
I won't ever beat my low score

I'll never be as raw as I used to be
I'll never get to love someone like I could before
Words don't deck me in the face like they once did

I feel old
I feel callused
I am opaque

This life...
These meds... 
It's like I've been screaming since I left Logan with my mouth wired shut.

No highs anymore...
No lows...
Just a heart rate monitor reading a flatline on a"Suicide Success Story"




4 Months in the Mad house

When the smoke was finished making me spin
Four months ago
Something inside broke
Something Important

Not sure what happened that night
Beyond the gore...

Not sure what changed

I can't cry anymore

Four months since
I joined the Mad House

Four months since
The voices had their mouths sewn shut

Four minutes till
They come back with a vengeance

Why I do what I do

It's not for attention
It's not for a high
It aint for a smoke
but for what I found in mine eye

Lucky 20

Looking for new eyes tonight
Ones I can see through
The eyes I knew once...

They said yes

Mine said no
No, over and over again
But those eyes...
Snake eyes

Now mine stare at the lights over the valley

Necking a smoke

Wondering how things went from deacon to addict







Acronyms

Kold
the words he never told

It
fire he'd ought not lit

Lashes
upon his gashes

Lives
taken by the knives

Edge
leaning off the ledge

Dead
what's inside my head?

--------

More
tales to his lore

Yes
Take another guess

Sick
wounds he will  lick

Ever
addiction's so clever

Love
killing the dove

Filthy
bloody boy so guilty

--------

Fear
of never getting near

Old
habits like mold

Rope
never could cope

--------

L abel
the boy who isn't able

O ath
could never stop the growth

V essel
red with a mortar and pestle

E nd
why is there no end?