Sick

Ive wired my mouth shut

100 words or less every day.

Up at 3pm.

Awake till 7am.

I don’t have anything to say

Seldom one to say unto.

But I’m here— wanting time to speed up.

Ive always been one to have allot to say

But I’ve just sat in complete silence for a long while.

Don’t quite remember things well, couldn’t tell you how long its been.

To break it i’ll crawl out of my room for food and ask what day it is.

But I’ll never remember

My mind is in constant spiraling atrophy 

When the time comes for a shower i cant tell if I’m losing or gaining weight— always just heavier bags under my eyes.

I’m small and silent these days.

Angry.

Nobody’d see, nobody’d hear these words anyways. 

Not if I screamed out or threw something, just a sudden sound to echo in my ears only.

It’s incredible how completely alone i am to my thoughts, feelings, memories, and future.

And quite honestly— nothing could change it, not a companion, not a friend, not a job. You’ll always be the only one to play Marco polo with in your head to see if you’re still playing the game, or if you’ve finally given up the game to fall asleep under the water.

Marco.....

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