chronological.

I thought it was bad in 8th grade when I was getting my cast on my arm on the way to pick up my dog that died three days after we got evicted.

I thought it was bad when my future was as low as the 17 on my ACT score.

I thought it was bad when I had no morals or honesty with myself or with god.

I thought it was bad when I believed high school was in its final phase and nothing could stop it.

I thought it was bad when we were moving and didn't know where to.

I thought it was bad when I knew I wanted to die senior year.

Oh how I thought about my funeral.

I thought it was bad when I discovered poetry second semester.

Oh the lonely nights I had.

I thought it was bad when love dropped me for the first time with one punch.

I thought it was bad when I believed  I knew what love was.

I thought it was bad when I took every opportunity to punish myself.

Oh how creative I was.

I thought it was bad when winters welcome brought me smog in my lungs and melancholy on my mind.

I thought it was bad when things were awkward between us.

I thought it was bad when I didn't say goodbye to you.

I thought it was bad when senior year was over.

I thought it was bad sitting in the ambulance after my friends "thought I passed out in the field" .

I thought it was bad without a job.

I thought it was bad with a job.

I thought it was bad when I said goodbye to my friends.

Oh how I would change.

I thought it was bad when when I said goodbye to my only anchor in life.

Oh how it grew on me.

I thought it was bad when dad's knee got infected.

Oh how it only got worse.

I thought it was bad when I lost my will to live.

I thought it was bad when my family stopped speaking to me.

Oh how they would miss me if I had just...

I thought it was bad when I stopped speaking to my sick father in the hospital.

I thought it was bad when I couldn't talk to anybody.

I thought it was bad when I had no direction in my life.

What... what more could happen?

What more could god take away from me?

I have nothing to lose.

Nothing to gain.

Oh how I thought it was bad then.

Oh how I was wrong.

Oh how I have nothing to lose.