Sion.

I'm tired of writing metaphors about  depression. 

Every time I look out a window I wish I was on the other side.................

                                                                                                                   ............

                                                                                                                               ...................................

.....

Every time I look into a mirror I don't see anybody staring back....................... .. . . ....... . . ...... ........

                                                                                                                           ........... 

I can't think right anymore.

Maybe.......

                   .........Just maybe I could do it......maybe                         

I don't want to die.                                                                        

I don't want to live. 

I don't know anything anymore.

                                                                                                                 

I don't want to live anymore.

I don't want to hurt anymore.                                                                                   

I can't die because I have to marry someone someday.                              

I can't leave her.

Would she leave me?

Where is she?

                                          

I don't even know her.                                     

I need to serve a mission.

I don't know if god is real.......

                                                ............maybe I do, I don't know.

I'm afraid if I died I would just wake up somewhere else. 

I'm afraid if I live I'll wake up in my bed tomorrow..... Different dream....

                                                                                                                   .......Same nightmare

I'm afraid if I live I'll wake up on life support.....death by inches.

What am I saying?

                     "stop writing this"

I live under a roof that's not my own.                                                      I can't print money.

.

.

I didn't sleep last night. Maybe I should go to bed. My house is a castle of cardboard boxes. We're moving and don't know where to. I'm staying. Never mind. I don't know.

I don't know.

"I'll skip lunch tomorrow too"

Don't comment #stolen like you want to steal my feelings!

That's the first time I've used an exclamation point.

This poem is the first time I've used an exclamation point.

and I'm done.

Don't post on your blog on little sleep.

My eyes are red and wet allot.

I can't sleep.

takeawalkanddontwearshoesandcursethemoonbecauseyousurvived.........................

I have friends.

I have family.

You can't see me.

You can't hear me.

Heaven is a distance not a place.